|What's wrong with second best?
||[Dec. 29th, 2008|12:26 am]
|||||Pedro the Lion - Second Best||]|
It felt good to read an entire book today. Granted it was a quick read (Love Is a Mix Tape), but it was nice to have time to read again. I shed some serious tears throughout the second half of the book. It has me thinking a lot about music, people, love, and relationships among all of those things. How I will never, no matter how detached the two things are, be able to separate certain bands from certain people who broke my heart (or whose hearts I potentially broke). My top three favorite bands have so much emotional baggage not only because I am moved by their lyrics, but because their presence in my life was dictated by people I've loved and, essentially, lost. I never think about those people when I listen to or see my bands, really, but...they're always looming and therefore will always have a presence in my life as long as these bands do.
I jotted down a bunch of musical things I need to get down. All of them are connected in some Rob Sheffield way. About how love really is a mix tape and the soundtrack to my life and the impossibility of leaving the past behind while still loving the music that guided you through it. So much in my head. So much in my heart. I remember so many people, places, and faces from an almost decade-long journey (yikes) of being an active music fan. I remember musical moments I have shared with friends and strangers, and I long for musical connectivity almost constantly. I miss being in a relationship (well, friendship) where sharing music was all that mattered. Where nothing was more important than Skate and Surf lineups, absolutepunk.net, finding shows, most anticipateds, and top 10 lists. And yes, sometimes, even mix CD's. 2000-2004 was a magical time to be submerged in this scene. I still haven't grown past it. It's why I can't listen to All Time Low and Cobra Starship and The Maine and Forever the Sickest Kids.
I will never find another Saves the Day. Not that I would ever expect to or want to. But bands today aren't capable of touching me that way anymore. I don't know if it's my fault, the music's, or both. I think what scares me is the generation to which I am passing the torch, so to speak - will its members find their Saves the Day? Will they have their Tell All Your Friends or Your Favorite Weapon? Will their bands break their hearts like The Movielife broke mine, or Midtown broke Lauren's? Will they care for the right reasons? That's the problem - I shouldn't care. It's not my scene anymore. I have my place, my comfort zone. It just kills me to watch what has happened to it. Does anyone else feel this way?
I want that connection with people back.
I want to talk to someone about how "Deciding" is the perfect opening track, and why Can't Slow Down and Through Being Cool are my favorite albums for different reasons. Or how Chris Conley's voice and range in those albums are far superior to any others, but how his songwriting has excelled in other ways on the newer records. And why Stay What You Are keeps falling down in its rankings.
About how I know, but can't understand why "Here is your storm again" is the apex of Brand New's live perfection. Or how every band, not just Brand New, should open with "Tautou". And how Brand New is not only Jesse, but a sum of their parts. Yes, even Garrett. Where's Catherine?
Or about the way I felt the first time I heard "King of Carrot Flowers Pt. One" and how shook I become if that album isn't played in chronological order. And how the book about the record made me appreciate on previously untouched levels and put to words why I thought it was so special. About how the intentionally imperfect production quality and Jeff Mangum's wail and the buzz and feedback makes it so much more beautiful.
There's a lot more I think about in my music-centric brain...wedding songs, funeral songs, new boyfriend songs, old boyfriend songs, happy songs, sad songs, summer romance songs, rainy day summer romance songs, nighttime summer romance songs, reputable cover songs that aren't meant to mock the original. Am I weird?
Luckily, I have Becca to listen to some crazy music rants (and participate). About Kevin, and Pablo, and AA Bondy, among others. She gets me. And most of my friends get me, but I don't like talking about it a lot because I know I can only talk about music so much before they get sick of me or think I am nuts. I swear, there's a lot more to me than traveling to see my favorite bands another 45 times. But it really is what matters most to me. Not because I need some sort of validation, but because it's the only thing that's ever felt entirely right. Which is why it sucks when people question it. That's a whole 'nother story.
A large part of this has to do with the fact that I was listening to Pablo before and thinking about how Bex and I don't know if anyone realizes how important that band was to us. Ive always had a hard time coming to terms with change, especially when it comes to bands. Brian and Mike existed before joining Kevin's band, and what an amazing band it was. Pablo was seriously like an era...in the way (but not to the extent) that Tell All Your Friends was. It was an era of Kevin, an era of my friendships, and like...it almost seems like everything changed after Summer 2007 in Ryan's basement. I have watched these people join projects, gain notoriety, and things get different. I never decide on good-different or bad-different, but no matter what, it's weird. Pablo was an era; Maxwell's was the venue. It'll never be that way again. And that is why I will get emotional seeing Brian sit behind a drumset. I don't expect people to know about Pablo, but like...God, why am I so fucking crazy about music?
I bought Becca Pedro the Lion's Control on green for Christmas. It hasn't come yet. I was really into this album when I was commuting to and from Stunt Company last year. I've been listening to it a lot and it's just...so good. As is David Bazan's solo stuff that I have been listening to accordingly.
Sorry I am so fucking weird, I will probably make this private.